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doctor’s note

1 Mar

no, i’m not calling in sick, again. i just wanted to give everyone a brief update on my health/sleepiness..

i decided back in november that i was tired of always feeling tired. i went and had a sleep study, after my thyroid came back normal, and then thought i got dropped from my parents insurance, so i didn’t go back for a follow-up.

fast forward to a week ago (no i didn’t get dropped from my parents insurance, it was just a mix up), i had another sleep study called a sleep latency test which monitored my sleep during 5 small, 20 minute naps. i had a follow-up appointment and come to find out, i do have narcolepsy. i can’t say i’m happy that i found out i have this problem, but i am happy to know i’m not going crazy. people told me “you’ll never not be, at least, a little tired” or “you sit at a desk all day, what do you expect?”. i knew what i was feeling wasn’t normal ‘sleepiness’.

from here i’ll take some samples provided by my doctor to see if those have any effect on my symptoms. i’m also interested to see how this affects my studying.. did i mention i almost fell asleep during my CPA exam yesterday andddd the one i took at the beginning of the month? yeah, not normal.

anyways.. there’s my health update. on another note: my Zrii package came in on tuesday and i started the purify cleanse today! so far i’ve only had their achieve shake for breakfast and i’m still not hungry.. that’s 5 hours since i last ate! hopefully this all works out and this will be the kick start to healthy habits.

i want to say, i’m not giving up on my bfl eating. i loooove everything about it.
i will be returning to it, once i try this new product out. hopefully, then, i will be able to eat more intuitively.. which is something i am not good at, currently.

Q: do you find you are able to eat intuitively without measuring and counting calories or does it just not click for you?



28 Feb

not much going on with workouts the last few days.. i’ve felt like a piece of crap since sunday morning, skipped work monday, and barely made it in today..

i’m achy, nauseous, and have a headache.

thats all for now.. CPA exam tomorrow ūüė¶ catch up soon.

weekend weigh-in

25 Feb

hey guys.. i’m feeling like crap tonight! whatever i have likes to come on full force when the sun goes down. i just loaded up on some alka-seltzer, so hopefully i can kick it before it gets too much worse..


i’ll do a little recap since i was absent friday..

i weighed in friday morning and the scale read 261! i lost 5 lbs in a little over 5 days!! i’m happy with that! then, from there, the day got crazy!

i got to work at 7:30 and was swamped as soon as i got there. between meetings and trying to get mid-year spreadsheets and recons to the auditors, i barely had time to think. 2:15 hit and i hadn’t even had breakfast yet! (since i changed my eating, i found i do 10x better with a filling breakfast, so at this point, i was ravenous!) i went down the road to jimmy johns and got a turkey sandwich with sprouts, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce and avocado on whole wheat. it was sooooo good, def not something i would normally have, but i was starving and i knew my grapefruit and protein shake would not hold me over.


i ended up working 2 hours later than expected and then went out to dinner, where i had a broiled crab cake with a few sweet potato fries. best. crab cake. ever. there wasn’t anyyyy filler! it was straight crab meat and herbs. so good.

i did miss my workout because i overslept friday morning and then didn’t feel like it at 10:30 last night and planned to do it this morning.

well.. this morning i felt like crap. so that didn’t happen. both workouts will be complete by the end of sunday! (pure cardio and plyometrics)

we headed to ikea today and got some really great things! some pillows, a rug (for $20!!!!!), 2 chandeliers, a kitchen table, and a kitchen hutch (not really sure how to explain it!) all for a great price! however, we were packed like pickles on the way home!


i wish i could find the products on the website to show you, but you’ll just have to wait until we move in ūüėČ

i will show you a pic of the house.. it’s a modular and we are buying almost 4 acres of land to put it on. i can’t wait for the dogs to have plenty of room to play!


now i’m relaxing by the fire, hoping this nightly sickness will go away.. my whole body is aching right now ūüė¶

Q: how do you feel about ikea furniture? a great deal or too much of a pain to deal with?

rambles and a recipe

22 Feb

warning: a lot of venting is about to take place, so if you’re not in the mood today, please skip to the bottom of the page or comeback next time.

so my day started out really great; i dragged myself out of bed got up, took some cardio cuts and popped in insanity: cardio power & resistance. i got in a great burn.. looked down at my HRM and realized.. i forgot to turn in on! oh well, no big deal. i know i got a great burn in.

afer cool down, i made a orange creamsicle recovery/protein smoothie (recipe below), and then got ready for work.

on my way to work i¬†decided to call my dad (after i¬†talked to my mom) even though i had a gut feeling it wasn’t the best idea.

*background info: i¬†am currently working as a General Ledger Account for an independent state agency making pretty good money compared to most of my peers. my dad, a very conservative man, thinks that me working at the state is only doing one thing: wasting his tax money. he thinks i¬†have wasted my undergrad and grad degrees on something that i¬†could do easily without either (which is def not the case at all). i¬†chose this position because it would be possible to study (wait, i’m suppose to be studying?!) and work without being overwhelmed; many of my classmates got into ‘big 4’ accounting firms and havent gotten off work before 11 p.m. since december. for now, that’s not something i want. no, i don’t want to work at this company forever, but for now, i’m happy, and that should be all that matters.

since i have accepted this job, which started out as an internship, my dad has had a rollercoaster of opinions, which he is more than happy to express to me. when i started, he was happy; happy i found a job that started within a week of me graduating. assured me, this would be the experience i needed with not so much work that CPA studying would be overwhelming.. that was the first week..

from there he did a complete 180 on me. he went from supportive to completely opposing everything about what i was doing. i was wasting my time, i was wasting his money that he paid for my education, i was wasting his tax money (because i would for a government agency).

every single time i went home i was bombarded with all this negativity.. it started with me going home bawling after spending the day at home for thanksgiving. then, at christmas, trying to embarrass me in front of all my close relatives.

since christmas, i¬†have no been home. i hadn’t even talked to my dad, which is a shame. i love my dad with all my heart¬†he’s done a lot for me and i¬†have so much respect for him, but i¬†can’t keep taking this negativity¬†from him. it’s bring me down and i¬†don’t know what to do. i’ve¬†let my mom know how i feel and she agrees what he is doing is wrong, but there’s nothing she can do about it.

hes also, always, been critical about my weight, and that’s one reason i’ve¬†always been so self-conscious about my appearance¬†with it comes to weight. i¬†sometimes make myself sick thinking about what he might say when i’ve¬†come home and gained 10 lbs since the last time i¬†was home, because i know he will most definitely let me know.*

shew, sorry for such a long background, but for you to understand why this phone call made me so upset this morning, you needed to know.

i¬†called him up just to say hi, which he always assumes i need something. we talked for a few minutes, about his company (he owns a landscaping company), about his health (since he hasn’t been in the best health lately), and the last thing he said was “have you found a real job yet” something struck me and tears started rolling down my face. as calmly as i¬†could, i¬†let him know i¬†was pulling up to work ( i¬†wasn’t even close) and that i¬†had to go. that was the end of it. i¬†called barbara and vented and she reassured me, what i was doing was the right thing, but there’s still a piece of me, this morning, that is so upset.

it shouldn’t be like this. why can’t he just be proud of where i¬†have gotten? i was the first of my family to graduate from college and the first of extended family to get a master’s degree. that means nothing to him.

it’s situations like these that make me want to put myself into a carb coma.. bread, donuts, cake, cookies.. anything would make me feel better than i¬†feel right now. i¬†know that’s not the answer; i¬†need to make sure i’m keeping track of this as one of my triggers that tends to break my healthy lifestyle commitment.

i’ll¬†end this conversation there. sorry for all the personal information and heaviness, but it’s my blog and i¬†can choose what i want to write about, right?

so.. on a lighter note¬†(if you made it through all of that), i¬†concocted a delicious¬†smoothie that i¬†would like to share with you. i¬†can’t say i¬†was ever a fan of creamsicles during my childhood, but this doesn’t taste half bad!

orange creamsicle recovery/protein smoothie



  • 1 scoop of EAS muscle armor (orange flavor)
  • 1 scoop of protein powder (i¬†used MRM rich vanilla)
  • .5 of a frozen banana
  • .5 C of unsweetened almond/coconut milk mixture
  • 1/4 t xanthan gum (optional)
  • 1/4 t guar gum (optional)
  • TONS of ice


combine all ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth and enjoy!


for the rest of my meals¬†today, i will be having: leftover pasta and chicken, 6 oz of dannon¬†greek yogurt + banana + cinnamon, chicken + rice + veggies for dinner, and if i’m¬†still hungry at the end of the day maybe a protein cake.. i’ve been craving¬†one lately! i’ve¬†also already downed 2 – 32 oz nalgenes, so i’m¬†sure i¬†will be getting in over a gallon of water today (which is something else i want to make a habit of)

hope everyone has a great day.

no questions today.. too mentally drained ūüė¶

two post tuesday

21 Feb

hey guys i’m back already! two posts, one day!

i just wanted to do a quick update on where i’m starting. i’m re-doing everything, i blew body-for-LIFE during december and haven’t been able to get back on track, completely, since.

today, my eating was on point, except for lunch. we had a potluck, so im not sure what the stats were on the food i ate, but i kept it to options i knew wouldn’t hurt me.. salad, chicken, and some rice. i did have a spoonful of shepards pie and 1 tortellini.

other meals included protein oats, 1/2 banana pre-workout, chili, and now i have a small bowl of greek yogurt + pb + 1/2 banana + chia seeds in front of me.

my workout was insanity: plyometric cardio circuit followed by a 3 mile walk with the dogs! (im beat!!) during insanity alone, i burned 479 calories. highest HR 183.

okay.. so my start weight is 266 ūüė¶

i will be doing weekly weigh-ins. i, also, want measure my stomach, arms, thighs and track the changes there. i will also take before and after photos.. which im not too excited about.

that’s all i can think of for now. i need to stay strong and work through whatever shuts me down, i have wanted to finish insanity more than anything, since I brought it and it never happens. this WILL be the time!

happy fat tuesday!

Q: are doing anything for mardi gras?


9 Feb

..or lack thereof.

since my post saturday morning, nothing has change. my eating habits havent gotten worse, but they aren’t better. too many carbs and not enough cardio. i’ve been terrible at taking pictures of my food and have slept through my workout alarm clock every day this morning. i feel disgusting. i don’t know what’s keeping me like this.. why can’t i snap out of it?

i had my CPA exam on monday.. it went terrible, to say the least.. i’ve now gotten the scores back from my other two and failed..both, so i have to retake them.

barbara and i, along with some college friends, are going up to snowshoe mountain, wv to ski and snowboard for the weekend and while i’m there, i really want to think about everything i’m doing and how its effecting my life. i might as well change the name of my blog, because there has been barely any studying OR sweating going on around here, recently, and it’s only stressing me out more.

i need to make a list.. of goals, deadlines, and everything that’s going on that needs to be finished and taken seriously:

  • i WANT to be in a 2 piece by summer.. and that’s not happening eating too many carbs and not enough insanity.
  • i WANT to have my CPA by the end of the year.. but that’s not happening coming home and doing everything BUT studying. (it’s bad, seriously. i’ll come home and clean the whole house or re-organize my bedroom.. anything to put off studying.)
  • i WANT to open up a savings account and put a substantial amount of my paycheck in it every 2 weeks.. but that’s not happening being scattered about my shopping and not meal planning correctly. i’m spending WAY too much money on food.. my MINT app told me so.. so bad that i don’t even want to share the number with you, because i’m embarrassed. i need to look up ways to budget while maintaining clean eating habits.

..all these wants are completely attainable.. the only one holding me back, is me.

i need to realize that these sacrifices i’m about to make will change my life for the better and will be sooo worth it in the end. i just need to stop making excuses and DO IT.

sorry for two of these posts in a row.. but i need to be honest with myself. i need to get on track and stay on track this time.. no more bs’ing .. no more excuses.

i do, however, want to share this AMAZING dish that i found off of peas & crayons .. this dish was sooooo good and soooo simple. i mixed the imitation crab with just the ‘cock’ sauce because i was afraid that mixing it with greek yogurt wouldn’t taste the same as mayo. no.. my picture isn’t as appealing as her’s, but it still tasted great!


i’m gonna go ahead and say i probably wont be back anytime soon this weekend since we will be packing/getting ready tonight and leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. i’ll take lots of pictures and post later!

hope you guys have a great weekend!

Question: has anyone else ever had this problem? you want something so bad, but you can’t convince your brain to stop the bad habits and start the new? hopefully i’m not alone here.. but maybe i am?

get my act together

4 Feb

hey guys! hope everyone had a great start to the weekend! i currently have a 50 lb basset laying on me(love snuggles!), posting from my phone..

i know i had my post about no resolutions and if i had a bad day it wasn’t gonna get me down.. and i have been eating clean.. but too much. it’s not helping my weight.. i gain weight (whether it be water weight or pounds) very easily and i am now 8 pounds away from my starting weight ūüė¶ very discouraging..

from here on out i am going to do my best to meal plan, prep, and do everything else I need to, so that i don’t overeat. i will be measuring food with the palm and fist method (because counting calories stresses me out) and selecting the right portions and options. this isn’t bringing me down, i just am realizing this is going to take a lot more than just having a can-do attitude. weight loss is HARD!


i’m going to use this blog like a lot of bloggers have in the past/still are using. i’m going to picture every bite that enters my mouth and i will make sure i take a picture of the screen of my insanity workout. knowing others will see if i’m slacking will motivate me to do it the right way. i may even take a pic of the scale once a week, just so I keep it in the back of my mind that i’m not the only one looking at the scale. yes, i’ve had some personal problems lately, but I’m not letting me get me down.

i’ll leaving you with some pictures of my baby at after he got a spa day!